she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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