Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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