Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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