Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
