I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
