I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
