I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
