Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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