then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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