sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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