Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
