so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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