i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
