my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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