I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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