I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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