Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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