Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
