I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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