Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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