Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Pants are for mortals
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
