Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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