this will be a night to untag.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
