Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
