Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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