I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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