ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
They have beer where we have blood.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
