turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
