Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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