yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
