Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
