My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
