Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
