Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
