shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
