please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
