THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
