Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
