Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
