can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
