ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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