i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
