Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
