Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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