just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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