The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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