shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
