a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
