we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
