He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
